Finding Our Way with Food Allergies

It’s taken six months to finally accept that this chaotic chapter of parenting doesn’t have the typical story arc–that it may never come to an end. But hearing from others who’ve been through hell and back with their own families’ challenges reminds me how important it is to share our stories with each other.

We’re juggling a mix of overwhelming knowns and unknowns, like anyone with food allergies. In many ways we’re very lucky, but that doesn’t prevent the ever-present feeling of dread when anything made out of peanuts, eggs or milk are being consumed in the same room, smeared across hands and mouths, dropped on the floor, or left in the sink.

It started in March, when we took a terrifying trip to the ER covered in vomit, after our hive-riddled 9-month-old ate a minuscule amount of peanut powder a couple of hours earlier. Ironically, what was intended to be an “introduction” to prevent the allergy is exactly what made its presence known. We weren’t properly educated about introducing allergens when your child has moderate eczema, like many babies do, or that doing so in a doctor’s office was an option.

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Haunted but stoic after spending our Friday night in the hospital, we armed ourselves with highly coveted Epi and AUVI-Q pens and slowly recovered from the emotional hangover of our baby’s anaphylactic episode. I flocked to Facebook groups looking for answers and camaraderie, like many food allergy moms do.

Thirty painstaking days later, we finally got in to see an allergist and got our first dose of the ambiguity that comes with diagnosing food allergies. Skin testing, which involves a grid of needle pricks on your baby’s tiny back–which you must hold flat for 15 minutes–revealed not just peanut, but milk, egg, and possibly cashew and pistachio. (This is a short list, compared to many other families.)

Follow-up blood tests could indicate the potential for tolerating an oral challenge of baked milk and egg, but bloodwork is even more rife with false positives than skin testing. Not to mention the trauma of trying to have blood drawn from the tiny, vanishing veins in your baby’s chubby little arm without success–which happened to us more times than I care to remember.

The prospect of transitioning to finger foods and finding a substitute for milk-filled sippy cups at 12 months felt overwhelming, so we turned to a pediatric gastroenterologist and nutritionist with mixed results. Under our allergists’ guidance, we continued introducing all the allergens that we tested negative for, one at a time, holding our breath with each new addition.

After learning about the nutritional deficiencies that milk-allergy infants and toddlers are susceptible to, we came up with a Google spreadsheet that left no stone unturned. We track every serving, every food group, every ounce of hypoallergenic formula and every critical nutrient’s daily recommended intake and tolerable upper limit.

The menu changes every week as our now 15-month-old (and I) get more adventurous. We’re still combining fruit, veggie, meat and grain purees with healthy fats like olive oil, batch-tested salmon, almond butter and coconut milk yogurt that don’t have “shared lines” with any of our other allergens–all which help make up for the surprising variety of essential vitamins and minerals (like iodine) that can only be found in cow’s milk.

Every day includes vitamin D and DHA drops, fortified baby oatmeal for breakfast, a potassium-rich banana, and calcium-enriched animal crackers (yep, the century-old classic) which we try, unsuccessfully, to keep off the floor. But we’re very proud that thanks to all the hard work, we get to squeeze a chubby toddler belly and thunder thighs.

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When we finally regained enough confidence to leave the kids home for a quick overnight trip, it was a foreign experience to not constantly race through a mental checklist around the clock.

I still diligently wash my hands after eating anything made with mayonnaise or dairy products, and shudder at the idea of peanuts anywhere in the house. I’m still wary of high chairs in restaurants and swings in the park. We prepare three different dinners, which is another story in itself.

I can’t imagine sending our little guy away from our safeguarded cocoon out into the world, but seeing moms do it every day gives me courage.

As years are layered upon the hearty foundation we’ve established in this first six months, I know from experience it will get easier.

 

Mama Shaker: Katie, From SAHM to CHO

Katie Rössler believes that just because Betty Crocker-like domesticity doesn’t come naturally to most of us, we don’t have to feel defeated by it either. In fact, she’s elevated the role of stay-at-home-mom to “Chief Household Officer” using the same resources tapped by top executives and entrepreneurs to be purpose-driven and productive.

This was music to my ears as I suddenly found myself juggling two children and what felt like a million little puzzle pieces managing my home and family, every day of my sleep-deprived maternity leave. Even with divide-and-conquer parenting and a village of helpers, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short with every half-completed task or interrupted intention.

“We lived in a small apartment but I had the hardest time keeping it up. Like, ‘what are we having for dinner?’ ‘I don’t know,'” says Katie about that moment so many of us have faced in new or recently expanded motherhood, when you realize the passing hours of your day are in control of you instead of the other way around.

“I didn’t go to school to figure all these things out,” she remembers thinking at the time. “What is wrong with me that I can’t clean a home while I sit next to my baby who sleeps a ton?”

Now with two kids, Katie has taken the reigns and designed her daily schedule around routines and rituals that minimize decision fatigue and maximize peace. Listening to her describe a typical morning revealed wisdom in every simplified step–whether you stay home with your kids 7 days a week, 2 days a week, or somewhere in between.

“We have the same thing every morning so that there’s no fight over ‘I want this, this or that.’ It is yogurt or milk and granola, those are your options,” she says about breakfast before her 4-year-old heads off to kindergarten (which is offered between 3-6 years of age in Germany).

“I do allow her to have the option to pick what she wants for a limited time, but if it takes more than 15 minutes then I get to pick,” Katie says about getting dressed. She even builds in a 15-minute buffer for putting shoes on.

“The mornings cannot be rushed, or you’re not parenting at your best,” she says. “If you’re kids are waking up later, my biggest tip is plan everything the night before. Go ahead and pack the bag, have the outfits picked out–yours and your kids.”

“The stress first thing in the morning sets the tone for the day.”

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Katie also meal-plans her dinners, repeats the same menu on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and avoids the temptation of lengthy Pinterest recipes. (Note: I started writing out menus for the week to help me better expand my 3-year-old’s horizons. It’s actually working!)

“I try to keep meals simple because two toddler girls tugging at your legs is just not worth a hot, huge meal,” she says. “Frankly, chicken cooks fast. Salmon cooks fast. There’s a lot of meals that we think we need to add all these things to and there’s a lot of stuff that cook fast and you’re done. Saute the veggies, you got it.”

Katie took inspiration from books like The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) and A Simplified Life: Tactical Tools for Intentional Living to master her own household and begin helping other moms do the same.

“It’s not about minimalism, but just simplifying so that I feel happy in my home, and happy with my routine, and happy with my family traditions–but in charge of them,” she says.

Katie’s currently reading up on time management with the help of Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, and believes all these books aimed at entrepreneurs are actually more suited to moms than one might think.

“As moms we need to be reading these books,” says Katie. “These are the tips and tools we can be using.”

Women Helping Women Succeed

“I have a passion for helping people plan with purpose,” says Katie. This comes as no surprise since Katie is both a licensed counselor and grew up as a military brat. Every time her family was stationed in a new place, her mother would flip through the Yellow Pages to find kid-friendly places to go.

“I love researching things like that, probably because of her,” she says. “I know with my Masters and working with kids, the importance of routine for them. Because I didn’t used to be a routine person, I found the beauty in it.”

Katie offers a free, yet surprisingly thorough mini course with highly relatable videos to get you thinking about managing your household and family life in a different light.

And sometimes that’s all it takes: a different perspective. After talking to Katie, I picked out this goal-setting planner to manage my family’s calendar, spend a few minutes each morning and night reflecting on the day, and work towards achieving 90-day goals. I now feel like I’m accomplishing something on the most mundane days, even if it’s as simple as getting a nap or workout in while the baby is sleeping.

And while Katie’s full 45-day program is currently geared towards an international mix of full and partial stay-at-home-moms, next year she plans to expand it to moms who work full-time.

“It will take a Saturday or Sunday of sitting down for a couple of hours and really going, ‘What will our schedule look like?,’ add it to your calendar, have it printed out, and put it in your work calendar.”

Katie stays that having your “standard procedure” documented, including things you outsource as a working mom, will prevent those moments of panic when school calls saying your child is sick.

“Have you ever had that email inbox that just keeps going?” asks Katie, comparing the never ending mess that comes with raising children. “It’s just part of the job.”

As Katie points out, managing our families and our careers don’t have to be at odds. Her tips will sound surprisingly familiar to anyone who’s spent time “strategizing” for the next quarter–it’s just a matter of channeling all that professional prowess into our families and homes too.

“Why don’t we use some of the same practices we use in the workplace, like a morning meeting to get everybody together,” she says about the importance of regularly checking in as a family and as partners.

“As moms we don’t have to feel so lost,” says Katie. “We actually have all the tools and skills. We learn them in school, we learn them in the workplace–we just have to apply them differently.”

Mama Maker: Christelle from Cooking with Kids and Wine

Christelle manages a team of business analysts at a systems integration firm, where she’s affectionately known as “mama bear.” Despite her technical role, a 90-minute commute, and the tightly packed schedule of a working mother, she’s found a way to cook dinner with her kids four nights a week.

“It’s not gourmet, it’s not something I’d serve at a restaurant, but it tastes good,” she says.

With her two sous chefs, Christelle manages to get dinner on the table between daycare pick-up at 6:00 p.m. and a bedtime routine that starts around 7:15 pm (and ends just after 8:00 pm with a glass of wine).

It was during her drive home one day that she came up with the idea to share some of her family recipes–old and new–by starting a blog, Cooking with Kids and Wine.

“Part of me is cooking. It’s definitely in my blood,” she says, describing the passion that sparked in her own childhood.

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“My grandmother and I used to love cooking together,” says Christelle. “My favorite cooking memories are with her. She was amazing at coming up with recipes and we just had so much fun together.”

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Christelle embraces the mess that comes along with bringing young children into the kitchen, and takes pride in blogging with photos that aren’t professionally styled. That doesn’t mean she shies away from complex recipes.

“My heritage is French, Irish and Mexican, so lots of different flavors.”

In fact, she recently recreated the French Financiers reminiscent of trips to patisseries in France while visiting her grandparents.

How this Mama Makes it Work

Her advice for parents who aspire to do the same?

“Introduce it as early as possible. I was giving my kids salmon and hummus when they were 10 months old.” (Much to the surprise of their daycare providers.)

Christelle counts Stuffed Squash among their staples, and often creates recipes based on what’s in the fridge.

“We don’t have hot dogs in the house,” she says. “I do have chicken nuggets in the freezer for desperate days, but they don’t think to ask for those things because it’s not offered to them.”

In her tips for bringing kids into the kitchen for the first time, Christelle recommends having all your ingredients handy and making a game out of it.

“I would have them smell the spices when I was cooking. They were always involved, and I think that’s part of why they enjoy it,” she says.

She also gives her kids the space to decide when they want to join her in the kitchen, and admits “sometimes they’re not in the mood to help.”

Christelle blogged about a recent weeknight when her daughter helped pull together Sloppy Joe-Styled Sausage and Peppers, complete with freshly picked basil, while her son opted to play with legos instead.

When I asked if she sees her kids developing their own passion for cooking, she said it’s too soon to tell. For now, she’ll enjoy creating those memories that would otherwise be elusive on busy weeknights.

“There are times when they ask to cook with me and that makes my heart happy.”

Toddler-Approved Family Stew Recipe

Of all the things that would get my 2-year-old excited about potatoes and carrots, I never expected it to be a 50+ year old stew recipe passed down from my husband’s French grandmother.

My typically picky eater actually made audible mmm sounds while eating the potatoes and thanked me. Zut alors!

Here’s my modified version with shortcuts for busy mamas. (I’ll also include the original handwritten recipe from my mother-in-law because it has that extra special je ne sais quo.)

Warning: this recipe takes 3 hours and has lots of flour, butter and potatoes. Mon dieu!

First, make sure to pick up the following ingredients:

-Pre-cubed stew meat (1.5 lbs)

-Pre-washed baby carrots

-2 potatoes

-4 onions (I had red on and, but any will do)

-Garlic

-Thyme

-Low-sodium beef broth

Wondra All Purpose Quick-Mixing Sauce ‘N Gravy Flour

-Butter

-Salt & pepper

You’ll need a Dutch oven or large pot, plus a sauté pan:

1. Toss the meat in a bag with a few shakes of flour, salt & pepper

2. Brown the meat in half a cube of butter (yep, you read that right) in the main pot

3. Meanwhile, sauté 1.5 cups diced onion; add it to the main pot

4. Add 10.5 oz beef broth, 1.5 cups water, 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, and a whole clove of garlic to the main pot

5. Sauté the remaining diced onions and add to the main pot

6. Bring back to a simmer

7. Add the baby carrots (about 2 cups’ worth) and simmer until tender; which takes about 45 minutes

8. Peel and quarter the potatoes and add to the pot when the carrots are nearly done

9. Simmer for another 45 minutes or so, until tender

10. Salt & pepper to taste

For additional ingredients, here’s the original recipe:

Next up, we’ll try my family’s stew recipe which is more of an Irish-style dish. In either case, it’s good for Sundays so you have leftovers for 1-2 other weeknights.

Toddler-Friendly Vegan Pumpkin Muffins

Eureka! I have stumbled upon a vegan pumpkin muffin recipe that’s crumb-resistant, dairy-free, low-sugar and toddler-approved. It’s the unicorn that will make serving up healthy breakfast on weekday mornings that much easier.

I say resistant because just like sunscreen, there’s no truly crumb-proof muffin; however, even my spirited toddler couldn’t take these down in a crumbly blaze of glory. I attribute the “glue” that binds these together to my food processor. I’d imagine a blender would produce the same result.

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Combine the following in a food processor or blender:

  • 2 1/4 cups oats
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup coconut sugar (equals about 8g coconut sugar per muffin, so I might half this next time around)
  • 1/4 tsp sea salt
  • 1/4 tsp pumpkin spice

While blending, add the following:

Bake at 350 degrees until a fork comes out clean from the middle of each muffin.

Makes 12 muffins.

Note: I started with the foundational elements of Healthy Helper’s Vegan Gluten-Free Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes (who adapted the original recipe from the Oh She Glows Every Day cookbook – as featured on Blissful Basil) and subbed out or modified some of the ingredients to make low-sugar muffins for breakfast.

Breakfast bars of champions

In search of a toddler-friendly breakfast option for busy mornings that’s not too crumbly or sugary, I went to good old Pinterest for inspiration. 

Unfortunately a lot of the easy recipe options called for honey or other sweeteners. So I took a cue from the deliciously simple, classic combo of oats and smashed bananas. 

(Plus peanut butter, but any nut or seed butter will work just fine.)

I hand mixed the following ingredients and then baked it in a muffin tin at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

You can also cut down on dishes by folding the ingredients together over parchment paper in a baking dish and then cut it into bars afterwards.

1 cup oatmeal

1 banana

1/2 cup peanut butter


Hacking Sun Basket for Leftovers

I recently started ordering the family plan from Sun Basket, which provides enough ingredients to make dinner twice for two adults and two children.

This was helpful for providing bigger portions (we nearly eat it all between the two of us) and only having to cook twice was more realistic for my schedule than three times a week.

Even better, I started ordering two of the same recipe and now only have to cook once! We have plenty of leftovers, saving me from cooking or wracking up dishes on another busy weeknight.

(See below for the 8 servings of fajitas we’ll have for dinner two nights this week, and maybe even lunch.)

Get 50% off Family Meals from Sun Basket.





BRAT Diet for Babies

The stomach bug cast a plague on our house Tuesday night. It was the first time I had to watch my toddler battle through it, while we huddled together in a bath tub quarantine. As his appetite returned, I found ways to modify my own BRAT menu for his palate.

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Here are some of the things that worked well for breakfast, lunch and dinner:

The good news is he recovered quickly, and knock on wood, mom and dad didn’t get it!

Why Going Local Is Best for the Moment

As I write this, I’m on a plane aching to get home to my little guy, so take this travelogue with a grain (or several) of salt. 

It will be a rare thing for me to write about traveling, because we don’t take vacations very often. And when it comes to business trips, my new normal is to get in and get out as quickly as possible (for said reason above).

Either way, I find the best moments while traveling occur when we seek out local experiences without overplanning ahead of time.

When it comes to vacation, my main pre-planning involves accommodations that are as close to “home” as possible (or a step up with points!) and reducing the stress of getting there. Other than that, the best laid plans are no plans until we arrive.

In Nashville, we lucked out staying at an AirBnB that reminded me so much of the early 1900s home that we had renovated in Midtown. The owners easily could have passed for our Nashville body doubles.


Even if we go the hotel route, neighborhoods are a great place to start. I like to stay in a walkable neighborhood whenever possible. So we can grab coffee or dinner without making reservations – especially helpful when we first get to town. 

The first day for us typically involves relaxing, attempting to unplug, and walking around to get our footing. After a day or two of doing very little, then we start making plans.

I also like exploring other neighborhoods where we’re not necessarily staying, by foot, as well. We found the downtown Nashville area to be too touristy, so we explored other neighborhoods like Germantown, Music Row and towns like Franklin and found them to be just what the doctor ordered. 


I had a blissful moment in this adorable Germantown coffee and chocolate shop, Tempered, waiting for my almond milk latte while we scouted out brunch spots nearby.

Finding great local restaurants is another activity best held until we arrive in town. Between Yelp, Instagram, recommendations from Lyft drivers and hotel/AirBnB hosts, we can usually get a sense of what the most popular  spots are with the locals.

From there, we only make reservations for the can’t-miss dinners. Otherwise it will depend on what neighborhood we end up in and what we’re hungry for.

In Nashville, the stars aligned with the following spots:



Pharmacy Burger had the most amazing farm burger with an egg on it, and local craft beer garden. We were able to avoid waiting in line because a Lyft driver told us about the No Wait app, where you essentially reserve a place in line.


After a sweaty ride on an on-off bus, we developed a craving for oysters. Through a combination of Google Maps, Open Table and Yelp, we found a quirky spot, South Street, near Music Row. Their giant Gulf oysters and bottomless fountain drinks hit the spot!


Somehow we mustered the appetite for dinner that evening, and thank goodness we did because Butcher and Bee turned out the be our favorite meal in Nashville.


No trip to the South (or any part of the globe, in my book) would be complete without mac & cheese. Our day trip to Franklin gave us an opportunity to try Puckett Grocery, which we had heard was the place to get an authentic Nashville experience.


Franklin was also home to the most adorable shop full of American made products, White’s Mercantile, perhaps named after the gorgeous white brick storefronts that lined its streets. I could have spent hours in there!


The last clandestine meal was the result of searching Google Maps for a coffee shop we could swing by on the way back from returning our rental car. Yeast Bakery came through big time, both for great coffee and amazing savory pastries, including their famous Czech kolaches.

This formula has worked for all kinds of destinations, from big cities to beaches. It also helped me stay in the moment and enjoy much-needed vacation, since homesickness crept up much more this time around.
The good news is after writing this, I’m now two hours closer to touching down!

What are some ways you find the best local spots while traveling?

Finger Food

Mealtime is an adventure when toddler hands get involved, so here’s a perfect plate for divvying up finger food whose eventual fate is on the floor.

Re-Play Made In USA 3pk Divided Plates

I’ve become a fan of Re-Play’s products, which are made in the US from recycled milk jugs.

Like little soldiers, they come in packs, hold up well to battle and clean up nice.

Source: Stepping Up to the Plate